The past 10 weeks...

I'm horrible at blogging but i'm trying to get better. It really helps me out a lot to get things off my chest, so you would think I would do it more. Guess not. Now that I have a blackberry I can update from pretty much everywhere so I don't have to be stuck on a computer in order to post to this thing. So i'm going to try again.

The past 10 weeks have truly been a rollercoaster. I had Noah and that was the best part of all...what happened afterwards was one of the hardest obstacles i've ever experienced in my life. I couldn't believe it had happened to me. I have all these things I need to get off my mind....how i've been feeling and how I felt about what happened. And its going to help me to put them here, so that's what i'm going to do. I don't care if anyone reads this, i'm not intending it to be a big "Look what happened to me!" post. I just need to write it out. I don't know why exactly. But I do.

The story is long, so it's going to take me a while to put it all on here. I'm going to do it in pieces. A little here and a little there until the story is complete. I hope that people do read this, because if it ever happens to you then maybe I have helped in some way by sharing what it was like for me. That's really what I hope to gain out of this--being able to help someone else out. Someone who, like me, was sideswiped by this series of events and would have appreciated a friend who had experienced something like it before and could offer some advice. So without adieu, here goes.....

11 weeks.

So today I am officially 11 weeks pregnant. I can't believe it! The baby is growing and, unfortunately, so am I. Just slightly, but still. My boobs are atleast 3 sizes bigger and my abdomen is starting to peek out over the top of my pubic bone. Its exciting how things are changing. I'm really eager to meet our new little peanut. For some reason this week has been a little bit tough where morning sickness is concerned. I have no idea why, the past few weeks have been so easy and I wasn't sick at all. All of a sudden i'm gagging for no reason. I've only thrown up once so far, so I guess that's good. I remember being 11 weeks and SICK AS A DOG when I was pregnant with Lily. It's nice that I don't have it as bad this time around. The only sucky parts are that I pee constantly and i'm tired all day long. But i'm not spending my life hanging over a toilet bowl, so I really can't complain. Haha.

Texas has been great so far, but I still miss Georgia. And our house. It feels like we're just here on a vacation, it still hasn't fully sunk in that we are here to stay. I hate the weather here....it really reminds me of why Texas summers are the absolute WORST. It was 101 degrees yesterday and the heat wave hasn't even really begun. I don't really care for Fort Hood or Killeen...it's entirely different than Columbus and Benning. Not in a good way. And i'm not excited about our new apartment either. I know I must be sounding really negative, but its been really hard adjusting. We went from having our own space, our own house, in a beautiful little part of Georgia to this little apartment in the desert. It's really hard to love that. I like being around family, but I guess I've just gotten so used to our privacy and being on our own. It's weird seeing our parents every day. I know that will change when we actually get settled in Killeen and we're a couple of hours away, but right now it feels like thats years from now. I'm trying to focus on the baby and the positive aspects of all of this. Lily gets to see her grandparents and spend time with them, and Joey and I will be able to go on dates together and spend some quality time as a couple. Something we haven't had the luxury of in a long time. With another baby on the way, I think we should really take advantage of what time we have left together now. It's about to get really hectic! Two kids!



With the move, money is tight right now, which sort of sucks because I really want to take Lily out somewhere.